Joking Matters

I’ve spent the weekend reading the Heidegger and a Hippo walk through those Pearly Gates, the sequel to the amazing Plato and a Platypus Walk Into A Bar. Amazing books that combine commentary with jokes.

As I’m reading, I was thinking of how jokes so well inform us teachers. So many times, jokes have framed so well, important questions that I’ve needed to ask myself so that I could be a better teach. Koestler in his Act of Creation defines jokes and especially puns as the “epitome of intelligence” and when the world that is the mind opens up and understanding results. We learn from a joke so well because it kind of short circuits our brain through two clashing ideas. Out of those two opposites is created something new – our understanding.

So today, I’m asking fellow teachers to tell a joke that really says something to them about either language, teaching or learning. A few words in explanation of the joke welcomed. Here’s my own offering from today’s reading.

Three elderly men visit a doctor for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, “What’s 3 x 3?”
The man says, “285!”
Worried, the doctor asks the next man, “What’s 3 x 3?”
The next says, “Uh, Monday?”
Even more concerned, the doctor motions to the third man. “Well, what do you say? What’s 3 x 3?”
“Nine!” the third man replies.
“Excellent”, the doctor exclaims. “Tell me, how did you get that answer?”
“Oh that was easy” the man says, “I just subtracted 285 from Monday”.

What this speaks to me:

Language is so so so personal. We all have our internal logic and how we order it and arrive at its “meaning” and structure. We call this an interlanguage in second language learning. A language all our own, our own way of organizing the “sound and fury”.  Teachers have to consider this and also consider the other side of this – just maybe the student had a lucky guess!  We have to sometimes look beyond the answer and at something more important, how students arrived at the answer and higher up Bloom’s into process and analysis.

Further, this jokes speaks to the fact that students needn’t know how they know what they know. Language is acquired very unconsciously and the student may indeed be perfectly competent in retelling a story using the simple past but be totally unable to explain how they formed the right  /ed/ endings.

One last joke to share but no explanation given – I’ll let you tell us what it might mean. 

A man and woman enroll in a Chinese language course.

Their instructor begins the first lesson by asking them , “Are you planning on traveling to China?”

They explain, “No, we just adopted a baby Chinese girl. When she gets older and begins speaking, we want to be able to understand what she is saying.”

Hype that’s not my type

hypeI read a lot about the “new paradigm” that is occuring in education. There is a lot for us teachers and particularly those in leadership positions to think about.

I really do hear some things repeated over and over again – that I just won’t buy into. I don’t believe the hype. These ideas seem so obvious and so clear that to me, they must be a lie. Reality is crooked and operates on her own principles – not the nice, clean kitchen cupboards we like to stack away our beliefs in.

So in brief and to maybe get others thinking a little “outside the box” – here are 4 things that are being hyped in the educational world that I disagree with completely. (and a joke for each that I hope will support my argument or if not, at least give you a chuckle)

1. The world is changing so fast.

Wooo there! It may appear that things are changing but as the old saying goes, “la plus ca change, la plus c’est la meme chose”. The more things change, the more they remain the same. Education still is about people, communication, knowing, doing.

We get too carried away in all the hype: how the world is changing at a stunning pace, we are educating for new jobs we don’t know about, technological tools arrive anew every day, the sky is falling etc….

I don’t buy into it. We still will need pen and paper, we still will have to talk with students and acquire knowledge that goes between our two ears. The hype only distracts us from the objective of education – to create a happy, caring and thoughtful person. I don’t care the decade or the hype. That will always remain THE goal.

Two russian jews talking:
- Abram, why are you saving money ? Don’t you know that we are going to the Communism and when we get there no one will need any money at all.
- I am saving for my way back.


2. Testing, particularly standardized testing, is evil.
Testing will always be with us. We need it and it is particularly useful to students, teachers, administrators alike. Tests have their place. They aren’t evil.

The problem is not the test but teachers being told or directed to “teach to the test”. This should be the evil – not the test itself. In my years in education, contrary to the hype, most students benefit and like the tests – just not the classroom time spent teaching to a test.

Tests should measure the knowledge or performance of the student (as much as that is possible) but not be held up as some hurdle to jump over or some “place” to reach. They should provide information to both teachers and students about the process of learning. They are temporary and disposable – not something that we should record ad infinitium. That said, they aren’t evil – only how they are used.

Abram and his friend Saul are out for a walk. They pass a Catholic church with a sign out front, “$1,000 to Anyone who Converts.” Saul decides to go in and see what it is all about.

Hours go by. Finally he comes out and meets Abram. “So” says Abram, “What happened?”

“I converted”, said Saul.

“No kidding” says Abram. “Did you get the $1,000 bucks?”

Saul replied, “Is that all you people think about?”

3. Content is dead, information is everywhere. We don’t need to “know stuff”.

This one really gets my goat! Memorization, knowing will always be a vital part of intelligence. No matter how quick you can google something or how perfect the retrieval of information. Students still need stuff in their head to mix and churn and access in the quiet of their mind. Content will always be important.

We should still be thinking of what students need to know. There is a center that should hold. Around this, let the student learn skills and ways of processing this information. But let’s not abandon land to swim in water where we’ll never find our feet a place to stand….

A man is driving down the highway.   A woman is driving up the same road. When they meet, the woman screams out the window, “Pig!” The man screams back, “Bitch!”

The man rounds the next corner, hits a huge pig in the middle of the road and dies.

4.  Qualifications are a must. We need more diplomas, more certificates, tighter controls.

The world of education (and particularly ELT – English Language Teaching ) is going down a road that leads into  a desert.  There is a drive away from merit in our world and into “programs” and “credentials”.
I’m totally against this direction, for many sane reasons.  The onus should always be on what a person can do, not what they did in a course . Credentials by default create barriers to real learning and to real discourse. They divide and create cliques. They restrict access  based on financial ability and how things look on paper. They hinder by making knowledge about the cosmetic and not attuned to any reality (think of how many students you know with high TOEIC scores who can’t even order pizza over the phone in English).

A man walks into a pet store and asks to see the parrots.  The store owner shows him two beautiful parrots. One for $5,000 and one for $10,000. The man asks, why the difference in price.

The store owner answers, “The first one sings every aria Mozart wrote. But the second, sings all of Mozart and Wagner too. “  “However, there is one out back for $30,000.”

“Holy cow!” the man says. “What can that parrot do?”

The man answers, “We don’t know, he’s totally quiet.” “But the other two call him Maestro.”

Funniest videos about teaching / learning English

Time for some levity. Us teachers need to laugh at ourselves, our profession a bit. This is an absolute must. So here are a few of the classic videos I’ve laughed at over the last few years. My top 5.

Each video has to do with learning English or teaching English. If you want to watch something hilarious about education – the funniest video I know is Father Guido’s 5 minute university!

#1. JAPAN – Spare me my life. This is a cult classic – OMG! Yes, it is real!


#2 CHINA – Learning English in University “en mass”


#3 JAPAN – Aerobics English. I have a bad case of diaarrhea.

#4 Ali G Interviews Noam Chomsky.


#5 Do you speak English?